Am I losing myself ?

Hello baby,

There's just so much daddy wants to talk to you about. So many thoughts swirling in his head and crashing like waves against rocks. I think daddy is losing himself, he is becoming something who he isn't. Sometimes, you sit up and wonder whether you are the same person after a traumatic incident. It may not be trauma in the eyes of the world, but for you it is. It's like a storm which just refuses to die down. It may be you lost your job or your house or a person very close to you.

Today is Navami, I shouted on a close friend pretty terribly. I felt so terrible, so awful. I see all these couples lovey-dovey in each other's arms. 4 years ago, your daddy was also like that. But then, nevermind. I think it hurt me so badly in the subconscious that I let it out by shouting terribly on her. Everybody wants to see me like I was- jolly, cheerful and cracking jokes all the time. But, I just cannot be that person anymore. I still retain glimpses of it, but somehow a different me just creeps in. I am not the same person anymore. 

I don't know if you are having the same problems right now, but I think it is important to be certain and quite sure of the kind of person you are. Self-knowledge is pretty important. What you like, or don't like. The kind of person you are, change that knowingly only for the better. Circumstances do change people, but I think after some time, they get back to what they were in the first place. I hope something of that sort happens to you too and you find yourself again, much stronger, much better and most importantly much happier.

Yours lovingly,
Daddy